Don't worry - be happy

Like it or not, believe it or not, we create the life around us. Now some people might find that difficult to believe or understand, others it seems perfectly natural. Having said all this, the purpose of this article is not to convince you either way, it's purpose is to help you think about the things you worry about and no longer worry about them!

SoÂ?.. you're going through life and your worried about whether you'll pass your exams, whether you'll get that pay rise you desperately need, or if you'll get the promotion or job you've just applied for, whether you'll get the house you just put an offer in on, whether dinner will turn out OK tonight, whether you look good in what you're wearing. The thoughts and things we worry about are absolutely endless!

Remember, though, we worry about things consciously. It's up to us whether we continue to worry about them. What is the point of worrying? Worrying won't make the problem go away. Worrying won't make the problem any easier. One thing you can guarantee it will doÂ? is stress you up to the eyeballs (and beyond if you let it!).

Picture thisÂ?. You're driving along the road at night and there are no lights around. Your headlights are bright and they light up quite a way in front so you can see that the road is there. They highlight any dangers, hazards or obstacles that might be in the way Â? in plenty of time for you to deal with them. Here's the cruxÂ?.. I can guarantee that you don't worry about the road disappearing without your knowing about it! Why? Because you trust that road will be there. You trust that anything amiss will be shown up before you get to it.

This, of course, is dependent upon the speed you're travelling! If you're whizzing around quite fast you'll have less time to respond to the road. The trick is to travel at a speed that will get you to where you want to be, safely. Let's face it, if you go too fast and miss seeing the obstacle in the middle of the road you'll have to stop to repair the tyre maybe. You'll end up getting to where you want to be later than if you'd gone a bit slower in first place.

Let me give you another analogy. You're sitting in a boat Â? could be on the sea, could be on a lake, could be on a river. Whether or not the water your boat is in is fast moving, or calm as anything, your boat will rock. If you're boat were completely still Â? with absolutely no movement whatsoever wouldn't that worry you?! It would shock the hell outta me I can tell you! A boat always bobs up and down, however gently or slightly, when it's on water. If it's not moving, chances are it's either grounded or on a dry dock! Which means it's going nowhere. So, rather than worrying because you're boat is moving with the flow of the water, be comforted by the fact that you are in fact moving rather than standing still.

So what can we do about these worries? There are a few things you can doÂ?. I like the "What if" scenario. "What if I trip over walking down the street?" I'll get up and carry on my journey. Somebody may even help me. "What if I don't get that next client?" Then I'll get another one. "What if I forget where I am in the presentation?" I'll take a deep breath, look at my notes, and then carry on. Sounds really simple I know, but there's always an answer (actually there's usually more than one answer!) to questions like these. Nobody can really know that the negative one will be the result you'll get.

Also, look at the evidence (if there is any) which supports the result that you're worrying about. "What if I muck up the presentation?" What is the evidence to suggest you might? Have you mucked up a presentation before? What makes you think you might? What have you done to make sure you're ready for it? What about those presentations you've delivered well? You take my point, I hope. A lot of the time we worry about things because we project our worst fears and we don't actually know that they will come about. Did you know that 75% of what we worry about never actually happens?! Yes, yes, some guy recently said "Yeah but 25% of them do"

You can see the positives in this though Â? the majority of what we worry about doesn't happen. I'd also be willing to suggest that the other 25% happens because that's where our attention is! Remember, we create the life around us by where our attention is placed. Self fulfilling prophecy Â? if you worry about giving a crap presentation, then your subconscious will take that as a command to help you achieve that! Remember, our subconscious obeys our conscious commands if it hears them again and again. Tell yourself you're no good at something often enough and you start to believe it. Why not try telling yourself the positive opposite?

The other thing to remember is thisÂ? nothing, but nothing, happens in the future. Everything happens NOW. The past is gone and there's nothing you can do about what has happened. You can only deal with what is actually happening to you right now. So, you mucked up the presentation Â? what will you do about it NOW? If you decide to do something about it tomorrow, then when it comes to tomorrow, tomorrow will be NOW. Do you see what I mean? Focus on where you are and what you're doing at this very moment. Perhaps sitting in a chair, at the computer, reading this article. What noises can you hear around you? How comfortable are you? What's the temperature like? These are all things that we tend to tune out and go on automatic pilot. When we do this, we sometimes miss signals that help us along that dark road at night Â? we're not paying attention to that sign that says "loose chippings" and so when they start to spray up and hit the windscreen we're startled. So we slow down. No point worrying that you were going too fast, slow down and then the chippings won't flick up.

SoÂ?. when you find yourself worrying about something:

i) take a deep breath and a mental step back,

ii) look at the evidence,

iii) if there is any evidence, do as much as you can to deal with that prior to the event (that could mean asking for help!)

iv) deal with what's going on around you NOW

Sounds simple, and it is really. But we humans like to make our lives more difficult than they really are don't we J

About the author:

I'm a life coach and healing therapist and help people to move on with with their lives (and stop worrying!) I love what I do and work with some really great people. It gives me such a buzz to see someone let go of frustration and worry and be really happy.


Author: Alun Jones
Copyright © 2023 Alun Jones. All rights reserved

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