There is a phrase that you may have heard that goes "To assume makes an ass out of U and me (Ass U Me). I beg to differ! I think that to assume doesn't make an ass out of anyone but ourselves!
Just this morning I asked myself this question: What am I trying to prove with the body I am creating? And then came the awareness.... the larger people are sexy too.
Where's the assumption there? You might ask? You might also ask whether sexiness has absolutely anything to do with the size of body at all?! However to address the first question: Where's the assumption? For me the underlying assumption for my "trying to prove that larger people are sexy too" was that larger people feel unsexy, unattractive, unloved, under-valued, rejected, and sad. And so by creating a larger body with the aim of proving to the world that they're none of those things, thus making the world a happier and more accepting place. Such arrogance and assumption!
What if all those things have absolutely nothing to do with body size and are things we choose to feel, or not feel, as the case may be? Where did we learn that to be one thing or another that all of those feelings listed above come as a result of it? I've met just as many slim people who feel these things as people who have larger bodies. How we feel is a choice and really has bugger all to do with what we look like and is all to do with the thoughts we think (and the thoughts other people think that we pick up on thinking they are our own!).
So here I am being totally vulnerable. I choose not to judge myself for this. Instead, I choose to notice it, be Present with it, and make a different choice from now on.
Let me ask you this, has you judging you for anything ever been a contribution for you? And has it ever made you feel accepting of yourself? And has it ever helped you choose something different? Who would you be without all the judgments you have of you, including those judgments of you that you've bought as yours which never really were?
We can be very cute but not bright at times about what we choose. And you know what? That's OK! Once we allow ourselves to be aware of choices we've been making that are no contribution to us, or the world, we can Be Present with them and ask "What can I choose instead that would not come from judgment and that would be a contribution to me and the world?"
What if now is the time to let go of your judgment of you? Are you willing to make that demand of yourself
About the author
Alun Jones is a certified Coach of over 20 years and Radio Co-Host who meets people, talks to them and, as a result, empowers them to see where they are choosing agains themselves, rather than for themelves. What are you creating? Need a hhande becoming clerar with that?
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