Sometimes people think that the biggest 'jobs' are actually the removal, the new language, house, school, job, documents, etc.
The practicalities of moving and settling in can be truly overwhelming, but perhaps there is something in my opinion that is even bigger and perhaps not much considered.
It is related to culture, but not quite cross cultural training. It is not quite knowing the values, customs and habits of the new culture, which is very important and precious.
It is something else, it is more about what some people call 'adaptation', or 'integration', which for me it is more about the process of moving in or living in the country. And it is very much linked with being able to be happy in the new country.
And one thing is if the expat will spend most of the time with other expats, in which case they will not experience this issue much; but if on the other hand they would like to 'integrate', if they would like to fit in, they need to consider a few things.
And this is perhaps even more important for expats who are singles or for foreign University students, as they most likely will not have the support which comes from a spouse or a family.
Wanting to fit in, wanting to be liked, wanting to be accepted, wanting to belong, might cause them a lot of problems, if they are attached to it, particularly if their self-esteem or self-confidence is not that strong.
Wanting to fit in and wanting approval seem to be very intertwined, and wanting approval is the cause of many problems for people in general.
In general, if a person wants approval from others, it simply means they do not love themselves enough to think and feel they are ok and enough for themselves, no matter what others think or say, and they will likely do things that are 'not them', but to be or feel accepted.
Wanting approval and wanting to fit in exist probably everywhere, and they already cause a person not to be themselves and maybe to go against their values, but if the person is in another country whose value system is very different, which could also simply mean neighboring countries, they might arrive to a point of betraying themselves just to be accepted.
If they deny their value system, if they are not true to themselves, if they do things that are contrary to their values because they do not want to be judged, or left out, or disliked, or be alone, they will go out of balance with themselves and develop inner discomfort which might even become self-hatred.
It might cause them stress, depression, anxiety, pain and problems.
And if they suffer from low self-esteem or low-confidence, the wanting approval is a stronger need, a 'necessity'.
If on the other hand, they have a strong self-esteem, if they love themselves fully, they do not give, or give less, a hoot to what others think or say about them and are not looking, or look less, for approval from anybody. They will also be more imperturbable to outside judgment.
And if they are not in 'wanting to fit in' or wanting of any kind, which always involves some 'strain' in it, they will be more relaxed and at peace, allowing themselves to be themselves, allowing things and people to just be.
This certainly does not mean that they will not have contacts with the people of the new country, but fitting in will not be a need or a must for them; they will be themselves, feeling good about themselves and they will focus on creating a life around what makes them happy, a proactive approach to their lives.
And they will most likely succeed in it.
And if you need a little help, I would be delighted to support you with Coaching.
About the author:
Piercarla Garusi is a spiritual coach and painter. Her work is currently focused on freeing humanity from what is not love and in doing so reconnecting with Divine Love and helping each Being be treated well, on helping people free from any wrongness of Self, and more topics, all from the points of view of Higher Consciousness, with new workshops just being created. She also loves creating projects for social change. More information can be found on www.pgcoaching.co.uk. Her spiritual paintings 'Art from the Soul for Higher Consciousness' are for healing, a shift in consciousness, social evolution. They are a direct channel to the Divine, being chanelled from Spirit. You can find more explanation, view them, find information on exhibitions and projects, including a project for Peace and healing projects on www.piercarla-paintings.co.uk.
Author: Piercarla Garusi
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